Photo: Claire Lower
Yesterday morning, I decided to bake the remaining biscuits I had purchased for this article about red-eye gravy. My boyfriend was hanging out and, since he is a dude who works in construction, I assumed he would eat at least two of the four. I baked them and offered him one—with ham—only to be told he “doesn’t like biscuits.”
I assumed he meant tinned biscuits because, while they are fine drowned in sausage gravy, it’s hard to beat homemade—but no. He clarified that he doesn’t like “the texture” of any biscuit. This admission left me extremely annoyed, and with two uneaten biscuits. (I’d like to think that this very bad take has something to do with him being from Connecticut, since that is where his weird food opinions seem to stem from, but who knows.)
In any case, I did not eat all four biscuits. The remaining two sat on the countertop, forgotten, because we had to suddenly rush out the door. I did not think of them again until this morning, when I went to make coffee and was greeted by sad, dense, stale biscuits. If I had stored them properly before leaving the house yesterday, a simple toasting might have revived them, but these were too far gone. So I did what I always do with sad bread, and made croutons.
I have made many a crouton in my time, but biscuit croutons are now my favorite. They absorb whatever fat you toss them in far better than any other bread, and they cook up super-crispy on the outside while remaining tender and every-so-slightly chewy on the inside. Once the oven was preheated, the entire process took all of seven minutes. You can use whatever cooking fat you like but, since we are dealing with biscuits, I recommend salted butter. To make biscuit croutons, you will need:
- Sad, stale biscuits, however many you have
- 1 tablespoon of salted butter per biscuit
- Garlic powder
- Fresh pepper
Preheat your oven to 375℉. Melt the butter in a microwave safe bowl in the microwave for about 15 seconds. Swirl the butter around until it is fully melted. Pull the biscuits into bite-sized pieces and toss them in the melted butter.
Transfer the biscuit bits to an ungreased cookie sheet, and give ‘em a light dusting of garlic powder and freshly ground pepper. Bake for 5-10 minutes, until the croutons are a deep golden brown. Serve immediately, or store in an air-tight container for up to three days. Serve them on wedge salads, in a creamy tomato soup, or with this very easy black eyed pea stew. Or you could just eat them by the handful, which I may or may not have down while writing this. (I did.)